Ascertaining My Condition

In early 2015, I did an annual blood test and discovered that my tumour marker CEA 125 for ovarian cancer was high. I did another blood test to re-confirm, thinking that there could be an error in the first test but the results still came out high. At that time, I was afraid to see a gynaecologist for further checks, so I just shoved the blood test under the carpet and pretended that it never happened.

A few months later, I was one of the lucky 700 people who were able to attend Chojila’s trance in Kechara Forest Retreat. It was also the first time I had an audience with my Guru, H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche and received his teachings directly. In particular, I remember Rinpoche saying,

Whatever sickness you have in your body now, whatever sickness you are afraid of now, do not think you cannot overcome it. Do your sadhana, do your confessions, Vajrasattva… if you do these practices, do your confessions, obstacles will definitely be purified. Practice compassion towards others, collect good karma and merit…

H.E. the 25th Tsem Rinpoche – Dorje Shugden trance in Kechara Forest Retreat, July 2015

After listening to my Guru’s teachings, I pushed myself to be more involved in Dharma work. I also started spending more time reading my Guru’s books and watching His teachings on Youtube, instead of just immersing myself in secular activities. After all, if I was actually suffering from cancer, time is too precious to waste.

Recently, a good friend of mine prompted me to visit a gynaecologist to ascertain my condition once and for all, with hopes that it was not serious. Even if it was, early treatment could save my life. So, I went to visit the doctor and had a series of tests done. My condition was diagnosed as endometriosis and my CEA 125 tumour marker was within the normal range. According to the gynaecologist, things are under control. I know that Dorje Shugden was with me throughout the ordeal. I cannot explain how or why but I just know that Dorje Shugden is always with me and I place my trust and faith in Him.

It is the same as how I placed my trust and faith in my Guru when I first encountered Rinpoche approximately two years ago. I was very upset then, more depressed and down than I had ever been. That fateful evening after work, I walked into Kechara Paradise and met a guy who taught me how to prostrate to Rinpoche’s throne with a khata. And when I placed my forehead on my Guru’s throne, immediately I felt a sense of peace. I learned Setrap’s mantra. I attended puja the following day. And my spiritual journey started from there.

With folded hands and gratitude to H.E. Tsem Rinpoche,

Celeste Lauw